Friday, November 30, 2007


i wrote the following entry on 6 Oct, but never published it.


it's been months,
but there's a place in my heart where time has come to a standstill.
in this place, there is no tomorrow, only memories, and dreams.

this place, this very soft spot in my heart, belongs to ishi.
and whenever i come back to this place i get the same feeling i had months ago.
where time stops, and nothing ever moves on.

i forgot this song, until today.
stumbled upon it while surfing for lyrics.

i even forgot how to sing it,
i even forgot that i sang it before as a duet with ishi.

we took part in NTU's Impresario in our 2nd year in uni together
and auditioned with this song :)

i remember how silly the experience was
since we forgot half the lyrics... it's such a wordy song!

but we had fun :)
we even won 2nd prize at the finals
singing a medley of oldies.

but i cried today, listening to this song on repeat.
and i am crying, my eyes and my heart both.

for a long time i had wanted to blog about ishi,
i wanted to share with the world what i remember about him.
and i wanted everyone to know and remember him.
because unlike us, nothing is ever going to happen to ishi anymore.
except our dreams of him, and our memories.

when ishi left this world,
i sat at my desktop and wrote down everything i remembered about him,
and i let myself cry and cry and cry.

but it wasn't enough, there are more tears than i can imagine.

i don't think i'm ready to blog about him, just yet.


a cold night at seletar reservoir.

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i bought some tau-hway to sit by the water.

tau-hway place,
slippered feet,
hanging out with friends,
late night supper.

and i thought of the 5 young men who had left their family and friends,
they could have been next to me.
they could have supper, hang out with friends,
just like all of us.

but they will no longer.

i always tear when i read their news,
i think, what fine men they would become.

but they will no longer.


ericall said...

If you been to Adriatic sea... you will never forget about the experience. Be it a nice -romantic breeze or a bad ending, it a memorable one..

Anonymous said...

thou i do not know who ishi is, or what he/she meant to u, but i feel the sadness in your words.

Anonymous said...

perhaps its time to let go of your emotions my dear...

XT said...

Kewei (:

do cheer up okay. stay happy.

take care!!


K said...

to ericall, i must go there!

to a_ndy, anneane, xt thanks for your words... sometimes grief is a burden you have to share...

rare emo outburst! i just wanted to share about a good friend i always think about :)

Anonymous said...

One of them is actually your senior in NTU hall 6. Was my hall mate along with yanzi. Its sad but that only makes another treasure their life more. Me was into music last time but gave up for the money chase in the financial market for the big money. Think I have arranged some songs for u before. Just follow your dreams and all the best in your music career.Dun ever give up!

K said...

to anonymous: big money! i want that too :) u have arranged for me before? let me know who u are! :)

DK said...

Are you refering to Ishi from Soul?

Cheer up gal. Take care.


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