愛在亞德里亞海

i wrote the following entry on 6 Oct, but never published it.


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it's been months,
but there's a place in my heart where time has come to a standstill.
in this place, there is no tomorrow, only memories, and dreams.

this place, this very soft spot in my heart, belongs to ishi.
and whenever i come back to this place i get the same feeling i had months ago.
where time stops, and nothing ever moves on.

i forgot this song, until today.
stumbled upon it while surfing for lyrics.

i even forgot how to sing it,
i even forgot that i sang it before as a duet with ishi.

we took part in NTU's Impresario in our 2nd year in uni together
and auditioned with this song :)

i remember how silly the experience was
since we forgot half the lyrics... it's such a wordy song!

but we had fun :)
we even won 2nd prize at the finals
singing a medley of oldies.


but i cried today, listening to this song on repeat.
and i am crying, my eyes and my heart both.

for a long time i had wanted to blog about ishi,
i wanted to share with the world what i remember about him.
and i wanted everyone to know and remember him.
because unlike us, nothing is ever going to happen to ishi anymore.
except our dreams of him, and our memories.


when ishi left this world,
i sat at my desktop and wrote down everything i remembered about him,
and i let myself cry and cry and cry.

but it wasn't enough, there are more tears than i can imagine.

i don't think i'm ready to blog about him, just yet.


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a cold night at seletar reservoir.


i bought some tau-hway to sit by the water.

tau-hway place,
slippered feet,
hanging out with friends,
late night supper.

and i thought of the 5 young men who had left their family and friends,
they could have been next to me.
they could have supper, hang out with friends,
just like all of us.

but they will no longer.




i always tear when i read their news,
i think, what fine men they would become.

but they will no longer.